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Monarch!: Dead men tell no tales

06/03/09 || Khlysty

No, I don’t think that Monarch! (yes, you dimwits, with a !) got the name for this little double-cd endeavor from Iron Maiden and the lyrics of “Gangland”. Besides, these Frenchies – you know, I seem to have a not-so-secret infatuation with French bands. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME, DOC?????!!!!! – have as much to do with the Irons as your grandma with Wolf Eyes. What? Your grandma’s a HUGE Wolf Eyes fan? Fuck that shit, man!!!!

Anyhoo, these guys – plus one lass – play your usual crazy-ass doom metal: y’knows, slower-than-slow “riffs”, one drum-hit per minute, long songs, downtuned everything and a guy (a gal in this case) screaming his/her lungs out about what a misery is life and all its burdens. If you’ve ever heard Khanate, Ocean, Buried At Sea and the likes, y’all know what I’m talking about. Lotsa dissonance, lotsa space, lotsa droning, lotsa sludge, lotsa feedback, lotsa DOOM! So, in this front, you won’t be surprised.

Now, as I gather, this 2007 double cd compiles two different E.P.s the band got out in (holy) vinyl form in 2006 (“Speak Of The Sea”) and 2007 (“Die Tonight”). The two records contain a whooping whole of five (5) songs and altogether last almost 90 minutes. Not exactly your bowl ‘a’ chili, but, see, these guys and girl are quite good at what they do. Me, I likes this kind of music pretty much and I gots loads of it, so I can tell ya that Monarch! kicks some serious ass, especially in the songwriting and pacing department.

See, when you writes this kinda music, you gots to arrange its elements in a certain way. The way is not specified anywhere, nor is it clear-cut and formulaic. Everybody does it differently. But, when it’s right you knows it: your headspace fills, you lie down and let the sound get you and you cannot properly answer the question “why didn’t I hit pause and went to piss when I should?”. Well, that’s the way Monarch! do it. They arrange their slow-and-low riffs in ways that are perfectly captivating, they add dynamics to their songs, they even experiment with texture and sound. And, all this, without sacrificing anything on the I-fuckin’-blew-my-amp-so-why-shouldn’t-you-blow-your-speakers heavosity front.

On the vocals front, we gots Emilie Bresson, a nice young lady, who screams with the best of them. Her tortured (oh, god, I’ve started writing like a proper music journalist! Somebody shoot me!) performance is absolutely perfect for this kind of music and gives it an air of real misery and tragedy, while her spoken (actually whispered) word delivery on “Dead Men Tell No Tales (Spoken Word Version)” is another thing: over a background of soft and not-so-soft noise (sea, seagulls, scratches and a whole lotta other shit), she manages to sound haunting, menacing and seductive at the same time (WHY DON’T SOMEONE SHOOT ME!!!!). In a few words, me likes a lot.

Of course, this shit ain’t your bang-yer-head, scream-yer-lungs-out kinda music: it’s VERY SLOW, the riffs evolve like geologic eras, the drum-hits are sparse and far-between and everything rumbles and grunts like Godzilla sleeping out an acidic stomach (except Emilie’s screams, which are higher-pitched and pretty disturbing). The songs are of the 20-minute variety, with a lot of repetition and feedback, so they take some time to sink in, but – and that’s the band’s greatest feat – they always seem to have a hook, a part that kicks you from behind and calls your attention, something to hold on to and fight sea-sickness. Be it a riff variation, a vocal part, a sound, these guys just know how to write a song and keep it interesting during 20-plus minutes.

So, is “Dead Men Tell No Tales” a masterpiece? No, but it comes really close: it’s well-composed, smartly arranged and well-performed lunatic-fringe doom metal. It’s got everything a good doom metal record should have and more: it’s got character – mainly, but not only, through Emilie’s vocals -, it’s got hooks, it’s got meat you can sink your teeth in and it’s got space you can lose yerself in. It’s not what you’d call groundbreaking, but if you wanna explore this kind of music, I could thinks of a whole lotta worse places to start, but not mane better. Vive La Doom!!!

(As a side-note, I likes a lot the whole package of grade-school drawings of ghosties, boatsies, inverted crossesies, heartsies and shit. It’s pretty endearing and com-fucking-pletely non-indicative of what the record contains…)

8,5 banshee screams over a barren earth out of 10.

Information

Released: 2007
Label: Crucial Blast
Website: Monarch! MySpace
Band
Emilie a.k.a. Eurogirl: vocals
Shiran: guitar
MicHell: bass
Stephane: drums

Tracklist
Speak Of The Sea:
01. We Are The Musicmakers (Long Version)
02. Speak Of The Devil, Speak Of The Sea (Long Version)
03. Dead Men Tell No Tales (Spoken Version)
Die Tonight:
01. Winter Bride
02. Swan Song

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